Thanksgiving Etiquette

So the biggest food holiday of the year is literally less than a week away. If you’re hosting, breathe deeply and take it one step at a time.  If you are going to someone’s house, here are your basic rules:

  1. Don’t show up early. Thanksgiving cooking takes hours and hours. The last thing your hosts need is for you to show up 30 minutes early. The level of anxiety goes up
    exponentially when someone comes early because they “didn’t want to miss anything”.
  2. Tell your hosts of any allergies ahead of time. Imagine how awful it would be if your host put out beautifully spiced and roasted nuts for everyone to nibble on, only to find out that your kid becomes deathly ill when they come within 3 feet of a nut!
  3. Do not discuss politics unless you are ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that you feel the same way. Even then, it’s probably not a good idea to talk about political views and opinions. It’s just too touchy of a subject these days.
  4. Eat!  Don’t be cute and get a ‘lil taste of everything. Your host wants you to eat yourself silly. That’s why they made so much food. Wear comfy clothes. Yoga pants with a cute top are absolutely acceptable. Just please don’t try to show us all how strong your willpower is against that sweet potato pie!
  5. Call or text ahead of time (like half hour before your arrival time) and ask the host if they need you to pick up any last minute items they may have forgotten. For some reason I always seem to forget either ice or cups…something simple. It’s really appreciated when a guest thinks to check in.
  6. If you and your companions are not on the best of terms (like if y’all about to separate and get a divorce or something)…don’t go together. The tension between y’all will be a huge buzz kill for everyone!  There’s no need to put on for everyone and act like y’all are good. We can tell y’all ain’t good by your body language. So do everybody a favor and don’t bring that drama to Thanksgiving dinner.
  7. Act like you got some sense. Avoid foul language (unless that’s how y’all get down). Be neat and tidy. Ask where to hang your coat, don’t just drop it on the floor (unless that’s what they told you to do). Don’t go wandering around the house trying to see what it’s like. You’re there for Thanksgiving dinner, not an open house. Don’t ask for tons of special accommodations. If they have Crystal hot sauce, don’t ask for Texas Pete. They got Crystal!!
  8. Don’t talk about how your Auntie makes the best [insert dish] if your host has made their version of the same dish. If you want Aunt Dorothy’s sweet potatoes, go to Aunt Dorothy’s house. Your host has made today’s sweet potatoes and it’s rude to say someone else, from somewhere else makes it better.
  9. Don’t go #2 in their bathroom. I know sometimes you just gotta go, but do your best to wait until you get home. For one thing, you don’t know the plumbing situation at their house and how their commode will respond to your waste. You think it’ll flush with no problem, because that’s what happens at your house. Well you ain’t at your house. To their pipes you could be dropping an atomic bomb!  And there’s nothing more embarrassing than stopping up the guest toilet at someone’s house on Thanksgiving!!!
  10. Do NOT drink too much. Have a good time. Most likely the wine and ripple will be flowing, but know your limits. You don’t really know how you act when you’ve had too much. You know what people have told you about yourself—-the truth is probably much worse than they’ve told you. Sloppy drink. Mean drunk. “I Love You, man” drunk. Buck wild drunk. Life philosopher drunk. None of them are welcome. If you need to, drink some red or purple kool-aid and call it a day!

I hope this list helps someone who is visiting friends and/or family for the holiday. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Enjoy the day!

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